Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Tender Mercies In Our Liberty Jail Experiences....



I LOVE ADVERSITY....BUT I HATE satan....Awhile ago on Facebook some sisters from my mission and I had a discussion about how whenever we typed the name satan into anything it would automatically capitalize his name....this peeved me. So I make it an extra point to decapitalize his name....Ha! Take that!




        About a year ago I served at the Historic Liberty Jail in Missouri. It was such a treasure and humbling experience to serve there. At the time I was going through the hardest time of my mission. Let's just say Satan was really putting forth his best effort. But while I was at Liberty Jail learning about Joseph's adversity I was putting my own Liberty Jail experiences into perspective. These Jail experiences happen any time to anyone. There are just days when everything seems to fall apart. Moments when you feel you can hardly breathe. On this one year anniversary of that time and in respect to my recent trip I want to reflect on those lessons from Liberty Jail.


Revelation: Just as Joseph received revelation while in Liberty Jail. We too can receive revelation in our adversity. If anything I believe these are the key moments when we learn God's will for us. When we receive the most brilliant light that chases away the shadows of fear, and doubt. Sometimes though the inspiration doesn't come instantly...it waits....and waits....for the right moment when our hearts are most ready to accept it in true humility. It is then that we learn our true relationship with our Heavenly Father. In our adversity are we to busy justifying our unhappiness, or being Laman and Lemuel that we can't hear the instructions of our Father? Do we become selfish and disoriented...or Do we lay our noses to the dirt and weep bitter tears of Godly sorrow as we relish in the comfort of the spirit? Do we let the spirit instruct our spirit? Do we reach into the farthest depths of our soul and allow the mighty change to come upon us? Let us receive revelation in our bitterest moments so we can be healed through the love of our Savior.


Revelation comes on the Lord’s timetable, which often means we must move forward in faith, even though we haven’t received all the answers we desire. -Robert D. Hales-


Adversity: While confined in Liberty Jail the Prophet Joseph Smith endured very cruel circumstances. However, probably the hardest experience was feeling alone. Feeling the silence of the spirit. Knowing that outside in the Missouri wilderness the Saints who believed and trusted in Joseph were left alone as well. Their fears and doubts creeping into their souls trying to deter them from accomplishing this great work. But they pressed on! How the Saints did it I have no idea. There were days on my mission where I would have gladly sat in the snow and just given up.
      After studying about adversity I decided to change my perspective. I sometimes fail at the change but it's getting better. Instead of moments of adversity I want to look at them as moments of opportunity. Adversity is inevitable. Everyone gets it. I loved President Henry B. Eyring's talk on Adversity in the April 2009 General Conference.                
    "My purpose today is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.
    It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him. In this education we experience misery and happiness, sickness and health, the sadness from sin and the joy of forgiveness. That forgiveness can come only through the infinite Atonement of the Savior, which He worked out through pain we could not bear and which we can only faintly comprehend."


Adversity is the schooling of our spirits. When it comes we must wait patiently for the lesson and the comfort to be revealed. If we look to it with a positive attitude or a smile it seems to melt away sooner. 
                                           Hope Ya Know, We Had A Hard Time


This is also really amazing : 
I can promise that when it rains on your face and storms seem endless....the sun will come. 
My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
Thou art not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.
And they who do charge thee with transgression, their hope shall be blasted, and their prospects shall melt away as the hoar frost melteth before the burning rays of the rising sun;



Refining: In our adversity and through our revelation we become refined. When imprisoned in the Jail the Prophet became a refined prophet. He was filled with more compassion and kindness. When we endure well through our adversity we too become refined in the process. When I first entered the mission field we drove across Kansas. All I could do was look at the vast expanse of land. I noticed that many of the fields were on fire. I asked our ride why that was. She said " They burn the crops every year to nourish the soil so that they can have a better crop the next year." I pondered on that in my own life. In all my trials and afflictions I've become a better person (when I'm humble enough to listen :D). The Lord burns us down so he can build us back up...
RICHER...PURER....CLEANER
Here, then, is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd.....

The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process.
-James E. Faust-

If we liken our experiences to the lessons learned in the Liberty Jail we can find great eternal truths locked away in the trials and hardships. 

In those moments we can look for Tender Mercies.....

This week was a hard week for me....just one of those things you know. Matters of the heart are always trying. In the process though the Lord poured upon me the tenderest mercies.

  • -Monty telling me I could be a mermaid :D
  • -Sarah Murray being my pal...."relieving me in society"
  • -Dan Christensen for having my back
  • -My family...in all their craziness!
  • -The temple that gives me answers about my worth and nature.
  • -The guy who said I had bedroom eyes that his mom warned him about :D
  • -My new job opportunity.
  • -Old friends who just say Hi
  • -New friends who call out of nowhere to check on you
  • -My mission president's homecoming
  • -Seeing all the missionaries together
  • -Remembering how blessed I am
  • -Having adversity
  • -Being secure enough in my testimony of Jesus Christ that I know in the moments that this too shall pass.
  • -My Bishop! His Wife! Amazing!
  • -My Co-chair for making me laugh.
  • -Serving at the Utah Food Bank
  • -Rachel Spencer's pure heart!
  • -My Brother my best friend!
  • -Seeing all the people I love smiling, happy, and laughing.

I am just very very very blessed. LYFSGUD!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

In all things God is our best bet....

What an incredibly satisfying life I have. It's strange and exciting and filled with so many adventures and blessings. I am blessed with all the people in my life!


It's been forever since I've written. I'll have to really catch up....


Last week I went back and visited my mission. This really deserves it's own post. I'll do that next. It was such an amazing experience. I felt so humbled to be back and to think about what I'd been given. I'll expand more later.

BUT TODAY.....OH TODAY....

I absolutely love my ward. There are so many wonderful amazing people. Especially the Relief Society. I've never been surrounded by so many beautiful people. I'm just so thankful to be a part of that. Sarah Murray is our Relief Society president....she really deserves her own post...and she actually has her own blog....http://mormonfun.blogspot.com/....she's so insightful and funny. Well anyway I love this girl


But today I want to focus on what we talked about in Sunday School....the lesson was so good!


“Not My Will, But Thine, Be Done”

Isn't this always the hardest thing to say and actually do. 

The basic idea of the lesson focuses on the savior's time in the Garden of Gethsemane. We talked of his suffering and his love for us. 

This class was incredible. You could feel the spirit sweeping the room as we pondered on this sacred subject. I love the atonement. Words can't even describe how I feel. It wouldn't do me any good to write it cause I can't. However, to know that the Savior, loved me personally enough, to go into that garden and to face that pain so he could one day comfort me gives me a hope and desire to continue living righteously. It's so humbling to have that knowledge. Not just me either but every single one of us. Yes even you. 

We watched this clip and it's one of my all time favorite talks ever. I was in the Missionary Training Center when this talk was given. I remember how silent the auditorium was. The spirit was testifying to the max in that room. Of the surrounding hundreds of missionaries I could see there wasn't a dry eye. I wept with my district as we were taught the simple truth of the atonement. THAT WE WILL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE! How amazing is that? Every tragedy or pain or inconvenience we suffer, we aren't going it alone. The Savior's suffering wasn't just to pay for our sins, but to provide comfort to our souls. To stand beside us and be able to say "Yes I know how you feel. I know it cause I was there." What a marvelous blessing. If I could share one thing with anybody (and it would be fantastic if they could clearly understand what I was trying to convey) it would be the healing power of the atonement. That our wounds can be healed and our hopes lifted. That our lives can always be filled with happiness and laughter and joy! That in the face of adversity we can say bring it on. Let me grow!


I love this with all my soul!

Also I would say to everyone. Go to the temple! You learn some of the coolest things there. Take your time as you go. Don't plan anything else. Just enjoy the sweet refreshing peace of the spirit. As I sat there I realized how close to heaven it is. My cares, troubles, and woes all just melted away and were replaced by the reassurance of God, that all would be well. I know that it's true. If anything come to know how wonderful the Plan of Salvation is. There is no end for us. There may be moments of waiting but nothing ever truly comes to an end. Our joy will live on forever!


    In that hour of anguish Christ met and overcame all the  

horrors that Satan, ‘the prince of this world,’ could 

inflict. … In some manner, actual and terribly real though 

to man incomprehensible, the Savior took upon Himself 

the burden of the sins of mankind from Adam to the end 

of the world”      -James E. Talmadge- 

On a less spiritual note. I have some really funny friends. I need to blog about them as well.

My funny choice for the day would have to be Michelle Gapinski from my ward! Michelle is hilarious. From the moment I met her I knew we were destined for greatness. Today she informed me that we can't sit next to each other in class because I'm too distracting. I know it's hard having these good looks and  amazing smell but really she should learn to control herself.... :D THAT'S RIGHT MICHELLE...OR SHOULD I SAY HOLLI!

Michelle Gapinski saw me across the table at our first ward mingles. She was filling out her paper in big fat permanent marker. She saw me and I was mumbling to myself. It was friends at first sight. Ever since then she's been following me everywhere. To Family Home Evening, to Church, to the Bishop's house. I can't shake her. But that's ok...cause she's pretty awesome. 


MICHELLE "HOLLI...MELISS" GAPINSKI EVERYONE!!!!




She's hilarious! She loves long walks on state street. Dancing in the snow. 
Riding zebra's around the shoreline of the great salt lake.  She has 7 kids. She's from the Czech Republic (Not really...she likes to lie about it) She served her mission in Alabama (she lies about that too...she served in the Czech Republic). She has 7 kids...ok not really....5 kids. She wants a man who will rub off her callouses. Who will french braid her hair. Has lots of money and all his teeth. Also she wants him to sing show tunes with her every Wednesday and Friday. Also if he has a tandem bike that would be a plus.
 
I love this girl!
(but only in a platonic way)



Anyway for the end of my blog (not the blog...just the post..don't worry there is more of me...you lucky people you :D) I wanted to post the most recent Mormon Message. How amazing this message is. It really I think drives home the importance of seeking the spirit in our lives. Only the spirit can offer us true happiness. 

So we must always Watch Our Step....and continue to love others when they've missed one.


                                   “Courage doesn't always roar.
   Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
 at the end of the day saying, 
"I will try again tomorrow."
Mary Anne Radmacher